Thursday, April 28, 2011

Half Birthday


So typically when April 18th comes around, I don't feel it necessary to run out and celebrate. I don't ever expect to hear people tell me "Happy half birthday!!" I don't expect a cake or a party, but it's just a date that I always seem to notice because it's half way until my next birthday.

All week, I have been focusing on a certain half birthday that is coming up. Tomorrow, April 29th, is a very special person's half birthday!!

February 16th, 2008, I knew my life was going to be changed forever. I walked into Wal-Mart to look for a certain something that I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to know I was buying. I checked out, hoping no one saw me and rushed home. The drive home seemed to take forever, but I finally got there. I ran up the stairs into the bathroom that I got ready for school in every morning. Opened the box and had to read the instructions! I did my business & sat there waiting. FIVE MINUTES?! Really? Longest five minutes of my life.. until I finally saw it. Two little pink lines!

So many things ran through my head.. What would my mom & dad think? How would we be able to afford a baby? What about college? But those were all things that I knew would be figured out with time. I was undoubtedly nervous, but it didn't take me very long at all to get excited!

I kept my mouth shut because we had a show choir trip a couple weeks later. I didn't want to worry Ryan, and I wanted him to enjoy his time in New York City. So I waited until we got home to break the news to him. We weren't sure how things would all play out, but we couldn't have been more excited to see what out future what going to hold! One thing I thought I was sure of, was that in October, we'd have a sweet little baby to hold!

But our plans were changed late March, when we went to the doctor's. Those dreading two words, which I never expected to hear... "I'm sorry".

Though I may never fully understand, but I'm at peace knowing that Jesus is holding our baby. God blessed us with a little baby. And though we may not have gotten to hold our baby in our arms, we will always hold him/her in our hearts. Not a day goes by when I don't miss my baby, but I know we will see each other one day.

So as tomorrow may be just another day in most people's lives.. it's a very special day for me. Happy 2nd & 1/2 birthday baby. Mommy and Daddy miss you!! <3

"Miss you everyday. Miss you in every way, But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you. We will hold you. You’ll kiss our tears away when we’re home to stay. Can’t wait for the day when we will see you, We will see you. But baby let sweet Jesus hold you ‘till mom and dad can hold you… You’ll just have heaven before we do"

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