While writing my blog about over thinking, Wow 2007 was in the background playing. There were a couple songs that really caught my attention & inspired me.
1. Barlow Girl: I Need You to Love Me
"But I need You to love me, and I won't keep my heart from You this time. And I'll stop this pretending that I can somehow deserve what I already have. I need You to love me"
- Most of us have a past life before Jesus where mistakes were made & we struggled to see what we were doing wrong. Truth is: we don't deserve Him!! but He chooses to forgive our sins & love us as His own. If we spent as much time praising Him as we do pushing Him away, we would be set! If only it were that easy.. we need Him in this life, without Him we are nothing. Jesus, I need You to love me!
2 & 3. Sanctus Real: I'm Not Alright & Stellar Kart: Activate
"I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside. And all I go through, it leads me to You; It leads me to You, closer to You"
"This is, the reason I'm alive. Don't have time to wait; Activate, activate"
- These two songs remind me of when you are a little kid when you get a new toy. You have to wait for your mom to pay for it, to get it home, have it opened & then it's time to play.. or so you think. but you have to wait for your mom to either activate the toy, take all the strings off or put batteries in it. Same goes for your life: you are born, brought home, raised & then it comes time to live your life. but before you can go on living your life, you need one thing: your battery! without it, you can not survive, you will not work properly. while you may think it's food, water, shelter that make up your battery; your battery is actually God. He is your energizer battery in life & He will just keep you going & going & going!!
4. By the Tree: World on Fire
"There is a hope beyond this night, there is a Savior in the sky giving His life to set this world on fire. So as the darkness closes in know that the sun will shine again bringing salvation to a world on fire"
- I felt like this one is pretty self explanatory. There is always hope when God is near. He gave His one & only Son for us to be able to live, sin, be forgiven & then to spend eternity in Heaven with Him if we so choose to. Though no one is perfect & everyone lives in darkness at one point or another, He will come again; better make sure you are ready for it!
5. Krystal Meyers: The Beauty of Grace
"But anywhere you are is never too far away. There’s freedom from your scars, the mistakes that you’ve made forgiven, the memories erased. Baby, that’s the beauty of grace"
- This one is a good reminder for anyone who is struggling or may feel they aren't good enough to serve Christ. Any mistake, no matter how big or small, will be forgiven; all you have to do is ask. 1st John 1:9 says: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
6. Francesca Battistelli: Free to Be Me
"Cause I got a couple dents in my fender, got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see; I'm free to be me"
- Last but definitely not last; this is one of my favorite songs. I love to be reminded that I do not have to be perfect for God to love me. I can live my life being clumsy, with scrapes & bruises because I am free to be me and you are free to be you; so make the best of it : )
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Over thinking..
After deleting this blog post two times already, my good friend C pointed out that I was over thinking my blog post about over thinking!
Over the past two weeks, I have not only over thought emails, texts & statements but also events that happened weeks ago & those that have yet to come.
Four years ago, I dated a guy who was not very good at telling the truth. In the past couple years, he has texted me randomly & said that he doesn't remember who I am but still has my number in his phone. I assume he is just trying to stay in my life & he is out to get me. Who is to say that he honestly didn't remember?
Since R left 9 weeks ago, I have been worried about my weight; how I am going to lose the weight before he comes home, what if I don't lose enough? But then I am reminded that he is my husband. He isn't going to come home & stop loving me if I don't lose any weight. He is going to love me the same, if not more since we will have been apart for so long. Why do I assume he won't love me anymore if I'm still a size 5 when he comes home?
Talking to a friend today, we were talking about R being gone for 9 months & he told me that he felt sorry for me. Of course I started to worry about it. I found myself telling C that I didn't want people to pity me & feel sorry for me. It wasn't for a couple minutes until I realized that he meant it in the best way possible. Why would someone being sympathetic upset me?
Today is July 24, I have 5 months & 1 day until Christmas. Here I am trying to think of presents for all of R's family since he will not be here to help pick any thing out & I'm already over thinking every thing. When I start to think of something, I worry about what they will think of it & what if they don't like it! Christmas is not about the presents but about the celebration of Christ's birth & it is best spent with family; so why, 5 months ahead of time, am I so stinking worried about it?!
Philippians 4:6-7 says:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I know that no matter how much I over thinking things & no matter the crazy amount of things I worry about, God will always be there for me. For the next week, I challenge not only myself but also you to forget about the unimportant things & to pray about the things in life that make you anxious. We don't have to spend our whole lives worrying; all we have to do is pray & God will give us peace! : )
Over the past two weeks, I have not only over thought emails, texts & statements but also events that happened weeks ago & those that have yet to come.
Four years ago, I dated a guy who was not very good at telling the truth. In the past couple years, he has texted me randomly & said that he doesn't remember who I am but still has my number in his phone. I assume he is just trying to stay in my life & he is out to get me. Who is to say that he honestly didn't remember?
Since R left 9 weeks ago, I have been worried about my weight; how I am going to lose the weight before he comes home, what if I don't lose enough? But then I am reminded that he is my husband. He isn't going to come home & stop loving me if I don't lose any weight. He is going to love me the same, if not more since we will have been apart for so long. Why do I assume he won't love me anymore if I'm still a size 5 when he comes home?
Talking to a friend today, we were talking about R being gone for 9 months & he told me that he felt sorry for me. Of course I started to worry about it. I found myself telling C that I didn't want people to pity me & feel sorry for me. It wasn't for a couple minutes until I realized that he meant it in the best way possible. Why would someone being sympathetic upset me?
Today is July 24, I have 5 months & 1 day until Christmas. Here I am trying to think of presents for all of R's family since he will not be here to help pick any thing out & I'm already over thinking every thing. When I start to think of something, I worry about what they will think of it & what if they don't like it! Christmas is not about the presents but about the celebration of Christ's birth & it is best spent with family; so why, 5 months ahead of time, am I so stinking worried about it?!
Philippians 4:6-7 says:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I know that no matter how much I over thinking things & no matter the crazy amount of things I worry about, God will always be there for me. For the next week, I challenge not only myself but also you to forget about the unimportant things & to pray about the things in life that make you anxious. We don't have to spend our whole lives worrying; all we have to do is pray & God will give us peace! : )
Friday, July 16, 2010
"Getting into You.."
So as I sat here asking my friends what to write about in my first blog, they all told me to write about my feelings. But I had no idea where to even start; I have so many feelings about so many different things. As I wondered what I should write about, Relient K played in the background & the song "Getting Into You" came on.
"When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into"
I was not raised in church but as a 17 year old, I was ready to learn all I could. When I finally decided that I wanted to live for God, I was verbally attacked by someone who I thought would be in my life for a long time, someone I trusted with even some of my deepest secrets. To hear someone you care about be so strongly against a decision you want to make really makes you reconsider. It was a very confusing time for me but I knew that I was being called to serve Him- so I felt that I had no choice but to let go of one of my best friends at the time.
This is just one of the many struggles I had to get overcome. I was confused how people could call themselves a Christian but then go party, drink, have sex. I found myself in a relationship with a guy who seemed to really care about God & his relationship with Him. I was thrilled to have found a guy that would be able to help me learn & teach me things. During a night out with him, I found myself in a situation I was not ready to be in, something I did not know I could handle. My will power was not strong enough to refuse the peer pressure I was under. For the next couple weeks, I was more confused than ever. I figured that if my boyfriend was a Christian but still getting away with this that it must not be that bad. Boy was I wrong. When I got home one night, I cried like a baby; I had finally realized that I had gone against what God wanted for me & it was something I could not take back.
Matthew 7:20-21 says "you will know them by their fruit". The true evidence of being born again is not by what you say but by how you live. For the next couples month, I just went on living my life, not striving for a relationship with Christ. I only went to church because I thought it would make me a better Christian. I did not live by His word; I did things I'm not proud of. I continuously called myself a Christian but I was not living the Christian lifestyle.
May 23, 2009, I married the man of my dreams, the one person that God put on this earth just for me! R has had his struggles too but he has taught me so much about living for God. We would go to church every Sunday that he did not have to be at work; Sundays that he did have duty, I went alone. I ended up going by myself a lot because my husband is in the US Navy & he has to do his duty of going out to sea often. But I never cared that I had to go alone, I was eager to learn. In June 2009, during a Parachute Band concert, they played a song called "Rain". When the lyrics "Living rain, fall again, Over my life over my land. Living rain wash my heart again" came on, I broke down in tears. Being surrounded by hundreds of people serving God, was one of the most powerful things I have ever felt in my LIFE! I needed Him & I now had no doubt. When the band invited people to the front of the auditorium who wanted to ask Christ to be their Lord & Savior, I found myself walking right up to the front. In my mind I kept saying "How did I get here? I don't remember getting out of my seat or getting past all the people in the row I was sitting in!" The most important thing was that I was on my way, in front of hundreds of strangers, to stand up for myself & say that I was ready!
Since that day, I have been working on my relationship day in & day out. I still have my struggles but it is AMAZING how God will put you right where you need to be, whether it in a situation where you are being tested by a best friend, in a place you aren't ready to be in to see if you will stand up for yourself or in front of hundreds of people accepting Him to be the leader in my life. And as I sometimes feel that I regret decisions I have made, I know they are what have gotten me to this point in my life. I will not spend my time dwelling on those events but instead I will praise God for getting me through them & getting me to the point in my life where I can honestly say that I AM A CHRISTIAN!
"When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into"
I was not raised in church but as a 17 year old, I was ready to learn all I could. When I finally decided that I wanted to live for God, I was verbally attacked by someone who I thought would be in my life for a long time, someone I trusted with even some of my deepest secrets. To hear someone you care about be so strongly against a decision you want to make really makes you reconsider. It was a very confusing time for me but I knew that I was being called to serve Him- so I felt that I had no choice but to let go of one of my best friends at the time.
This is just one of the many struggles I had to get overcome. I was confused how people could call themselves a Christian but then go party, drink, have sex. I found myself in a relationship with a guy who seemed to really care about God & his relationship with Him. I was thrilled to have found a guy that would be able to help me learn & teach me things. During a night out with him, I found myself in a situation I was not ready to be in, something I did not know I could handle. My will power was not strong enough to refuse the peer pressure I was under. For the next couple weeks, I was more confused than ever. I figured that if my boyfriend was a Christian but still getting away with this that it must not be that bad. Boy was I wrong. When I got home one night, I cried like a baby; I had finally realized that I had gone against what God wanted for me & it was something I could not take back.
Matthew 7:20-21 says "you will know them by their fruit". The true evidence of being born again is not by what you say but by how you live. For the next couples month, I just went on living my life, not striving for a relationship with Christ. I only went to church because I thought it would make me a better Christian. I did not live by His word; I did things I'm not proud of. I continuously called myself a Christian but I was not living the Christian lifestyle.
May 23, 2009, I married the man of my dreams, the one person that God put on this earth just for me! R has had his struggles too but he has taught me so much about living for God. We would go to church every Sunday that he did not have to be at work; Sundays that he did have duty, I went alone. I ended up going by myself a lot because my husband is in the US Navy & he has to do his duty of going out to sea often. But I never cared that I had to go alone, I was eager to learn. In June 2009, during a Parachute Band concert, they played a song called "Rain". When the lyrics "Living rain, fall again, Over my life over my land. Living rain wash my heart again" came on, I broke down in tears. Being surrounded by hundreds of people serving God, was one of the most powerful things I have ever felt in my LIFE! I needed Him & I now had no doubt. When the band invited people to the front of the auditorium who wanted to ask Christ to be their Lord & Savior, I found myself walking right up to the front. In my mind I kept saying "How did I get here? I don't remember getting out of my seat or getting past all the people in the row I was sitting in!" The most important thing was that I was on my way, in front of hundreds of strangers, to stand up for myself & say that I was ready!
Since that day, I have been working on my relationship day in & day out. I still have my struggles but it is AMAZING how God will put you right where you need to be, whether it in a situation where you are being tested by a best friend, in a place you aren't ready to be in to see if you will stand up for yourself or in front of hundreds of people accepting Him to be the leader in my life. And as I sometimes feel that I regret decisions I have made, I know they are what have gotten me to this point in my life. I will not spend my time dwelling on those events but instead I will praise God for getting me through them & getting me to the point in my life where I can honestly say that I AM A CHRISTIAN!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
