Day 9: Your Beliefs

I'll just start by saying that I believe in God. I believe that He sent His one and only son to Earth to die for our sins. As Relient K says in one of their songs,"It's My way or the highway to Hell!" and I stand behind that 100%. I believe that the only way to go to Heaven is through Christ alone; there is no way around that. I also believe that Heaven is going to be incredible. There will be "No weeping, no hurt or pain; No suffering, You hold me now, You hold me now. No darkness no sick or lame, No hiding You hold me now, You hold me now!" I believe the streets will be made of gold, and we will spend all our time worship Jesus Christ. I believe that all things are possible with God. I know that without God, I would be nothing!!

Day 8: A Moment

There I was, standing on a stage in front of a bunch of people. I was sweating from being so nervous, I know my hands were clammy, my white heels were sticking to the stage. Behind me were two of the most important friends in my life. In front of me.. the man I was going to marry; the one I would spend the rest of my years with, my soul mate.

As I was standing up there, my mind was racing the whole time. What if people saw me fidgeting my legs the whole time? What if some one in my family, or his, didn't approve? What if every one thought we were making a mistake?

Then it occurred to me; why did I care what other people thought? This was my life and my one chance to shine! I knew that if my family, or his, thought we were making a mistake, they would have stopped us from going through with it. They would have mentioned it earlier, and if that were the case, I wouldn't have been standing on that stage on May 23, 2009.

Many people wondered why we would choose to get married so young; R being 20 and me 19. Numerous people asked me when I was due and one woman even rubbed my belly. When I would ask them back, "due for what?", they all looked at me like I was crazy. There was no way I would want to get married to be married, right? There had to be a reason, right? DUH! Of course there was a reason; I loved him and he loved me! We knew we were making the right decision. We didn't expect it to be easy, but we knew there were no other person we'd rather go through life with.

After what seemed like a life time of talking, after being burned with the dripping wax from our unity candle, and after exchanging our rings, Pastor Mark then said, "You may kiss the bride!". I will never be able to explain how I felt at that very moment. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry. I have butterflies worse than ever before. Once I heard, "I now present to you, Mr & Mrs A!!", I knew that I had made the perfect decision. I never felt so happy in my entire life.

I thank God for blessing my life with R every day. Even though he isn't here all the time, I know he will always be there for me, through thick and thin. I look forward to seeing all the great things God has for us in our future!
I love you R forever and always

Day 7: Your Best friend

Throughout my life, I have only had a couple people that I could actually call my best friend. I always had close friends but few best friends. Currently, I consider myself to have three best friends. Instead of sticking to the topic of "your best friend" and having to pick only one, I'm going to tell you a little bit of all three of them.




JLC! She has been my best friend for eight years now. It all started when we were in middle school (J a grade higher than me). My mom told me that she didn't want me to walk the couple blocks home alone and suggested that I ask J to walk with me. Embarrassed that my mom wouldn't let me walk alone, I mustered up the courage to ask her to walk with me since we lived down the street from each other. So we started walking to and from the bus stop every day. J has always been someone that I can count on. She is always there for me to cry to and always knows the right things to say. Even though she doesn't always tell me what I want to hear, she tells me what I need to hear which is one of my favorite things about her! We have spent eight years crying together, growing together, and making fools out of ourselves together. Without her, I would not have survived the awkward stages of middle school, the crazy boys of high school, my insane freshman year at Longwood or life in general! I'm very blessed to have her in my life and I thank God for her every day; she is the lime to my lemon!! : )



RCA! R came around when I was already in a relationship but that didn't last long. I swore I was done with high school boys, but he stayed persistent. I couldn't have been more thankful than to have him there with me my senior year. We have gotten to share so much together: our show choir trip to NYC, senior prom, graduation, me getting into and moving away to college, him joining and leaving for the Navy. He has stayed by my side through all of these even when things got tough. He has shown me that even after you are 'old' and married, you can still have a good time! He brings out the best in me and I can't help but find myself smiling around him all the time. Out of all the people in the world, I wouldn't want to share my life with anyone else!! I have been lucky to enough to have him as my husband, but I have truly been blessed to have him as my best friend too!



CEBS! A couple years ago, a group of Navy girlfriends decided that we would make our own private group on facebook where we all got to connect on a deeper level. There were/ are about 30 of us in the group and one of them has become one of my best friends. C was always one of those Navy girls that I always thought it would be cool to meet in real life. We talked for a couple years when she told me that her husband, also named R, got orders to Virginia! I remember being so excited to finally get to meet her but also nervous because we hadn't even talked on the phone. The day they were moving to Virginia, C called me crying about the apartments they had planned to move in. About a week later, I went over to her apartment to meet her for the first time. From then on, we got to know each other even more and started hanging out at least once a week. A year and some months later, we have become very close friends. C and I share the same beliefs; I never knew that was so important in a friendship until recently. She is the type of friend that I don't have to worry about being a complete goof around because I know she won't judge me! I know God put her in my life because He knew we would always be there for each other (not to mention our pups are best friends but that's just another excuse for us to be friends!)

Day 6: Your Day

I know I have been slacking on writing my blog every day. I planned on writing day six yesterday until I realized that I really didn't do anything great; mainly just hung around the house with C!
Today, I woke up around 7:30 so that I could get a shower before going to view our potential new home. Around 8:45, C & I headed over to the apartment complex. I was excited yet kindof nervous. I have been praying about our new home for two months now; I want to make sure we are in the right place. We got there and headed up to the second floor to look at it. As soon as we walked in, I knew it wasn't right for us. The floor plan was weirdly set up, and I knew there was no way we could fit our living room furniture in there without blocking one of the guest room doors. While walking back to the office, Ca was talking to the lady about their potential new home. Sarah went on to tell us how there had been a fire and all three floors got soaked because the sprinklers went off to put out the fire. She started talking about how all three of them had new carpet, new vinyl, new counter tops, etc. So I am going to go look at the second floor apartment on Saturday either with C and R or with my mom if she wants to take a trip out with me! I very excited, and I feel like this is it; this is the one. But I know I have to be patient to see.
After leaving the apartment place, C, H, M & I went out to the Yankee Candle Factory in Williamsburg. We walked around, smelled way too many candles, and got to see it snow indoors. Then we went to Cracker Barrel afterwards which was yummy! On the car ride back to C, we took the moron test; none of us passed it somehow but we tried!!
Now we are back at C's with no plans for the rest of the day. We will probably get dinner in a couple hours and go to walmart! : )

Day 5: Your definition of love

On the list of topics to blog about, this one was titled "Your definition of loveDay". I personally thought of it as a typo, like maybe the person who made the list forgot to put a space in between to start the next line for day six. So instead of blogging about loveDay, I'm going to write about my definition of love because I think that's what it was supposed to say!!

I believe there are numerous types of love. I personally have felt love for my husband, my mom & dad, my brothers, my best friends, my unborn baby, and that for my Savior. All of these types of love are completely different, but I will explain my definition of each!

The love for my husband is unconditional. No matter what we go through, I will never love him any less; only more and more with every passing day. I promise to always be there for him, no matter what. This love is the kind that gives me butterflies when I get a call from an "unavailable" number on my phone; the kind that makes me all giddy just thinking about getting to see him again! It's the fact that even when we are thousands of miles from each other, we can still make each other feel important. This is the kind of love I will wait months to get back because he means that much to me!

When I was younger, it always seemed like I had so many rules to follow. I never understood why my parents made me have a curfew, told me "no" when I thought I should have been told "yes". I never understood why my parents "ruined my life" as I said numerous times as teenager. But I now understand that they weren't doing it to be mean, they were giving me rules because they loved me and wanted what's best for me. Even when I was caught breaking the rules and going behind their back, they still loved for me it! Without my parents, I wouldn't be here; I would be nothing. They both gave me so much and went out of their way to make us happy. I will always be grateful for all they do; I love you mom & dad!

Growing up, my brothers were always the first to pick on me and give me a hard time over nothing. I know that I can always rely on my brothers, and I will always be there for them. They are the only ones that fully know what growing up was like in our family, and I wouldn't have wanted to share it with anyone else!!


For me a best friend is someone you can tell your secrets to and not have to worry about the whole word finding out; Someone who will listen without judging, someone who will be honest when you ask for an opinion, not tell you what you want to hear. A best friend is someone who won't make a big deal about agreeing to disagree with you. My best friends are definitely worth living for.

Most everyone knows, but October of 2009, I found out I was pregnant. From the moment I saw those 2 pink lines, I immediately fell in love. I was imagining picking names, decorating a room, and a lifetime of memories! We went to the doctors just to confirm it. He walked back into the room and said "Congratulations!!"; I knew I was glowing. I couldn't have been more excited for our little bundle of joy to get here! Three weeks later, we lost the baby but those were the happiest three weeks for us since we had gotten married. I didn't understand how I could love someone so much that I had never met; that's the love that I knew my parents felt!

Last but definitely not least, is the love for Our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the one that is always there for me, will never let me down, and will love me unconditionally. No matter how much I may have strayed from Him when I was younger, He was still there for me to run to and forgiving of everything I did wrong in my life. God will never judge you, won't tell your biggest secret, love you with His whole heart (I mean He gave His son for us, that's a pretty deep love!), He will support you, and be your best friend!! : )

Day 4: What you ate today

I found this to be a silly topic to have to write about, esp before I blog about best friends, brothers, you know.. the important stuff!! But here goes:

Today for lunch, C made a dip for us. It had chicken, cream cheese, Worcestershire sauce, and shredded cheese. It was really good; we had it with town house crackers and wheat thins!

For dinner, we had spicy chicken sandwiches and potatoes! It was pretty good but the chicken was spicy!!

So now that I just wasted five minutes of my life & one minute of yours, maybe tomorrow's blog will be better! Goodnight : )

Day 3: Your parents

My whole childhood, my parents were married & we seemed like one happy family. Recently, that all changed though. My parents just couldn't work out their differences and decided it was time for them to get a divorce. After 20 years of saying "My parents are still together", I've had to start saying "My parents are divorced". Even though they think they will never get back together, I still have hope, and I will pray without ceasing!



A little bit about my mom; My mom has three kids, 23, 20 (me!) & 10. She had my older brother, A, when she was 17. Even though she had us young, she was always the cool mom! My mom was always a stay at home mom. She helped out at our schools as much as she could; she would go on field trips with us, help out at the book fairs, even bring us cupcakes and lunch on our birthday every year in elementary school. She is the type of mom that no matter what trouble you got yourself into, no matter the circumstances of a trouble time, she is always there for me. Even when I do things that I'm not proud of, she will stay by myself and let me cry on her shoulder as long as I need to. She is a very busy woman; working part time at a bank in Richmond and raising my 10 year old brother!




I was always the biggest daddy's girl! When I was little, I loved cabbage patch dolls.. until they were in MY spot on daddy's lap. I would take the dolls off his lap, throw them on the ground (very angrily!!) & climb up into my spot! My dad is one of the hardest workers I have ever met. He was in the Navy for about 8 years, working as a Nuke. Years later, he got a job working at Dominion Virginia Power. He works crazy hours, and his schedule changes every couple of days. But no matter how long he has been working, he still always makes time for us. No matter what my situation is, he is always right there to say that everything will be okay.

I wouldn't trade my parents for the world. They mean so much to me, and I thank God for them every single day!

Day 2: Your first love

I, like most girls, have thought I was "in love" a couple times before I actually met my one and only!

My sophomore year of high school, I started dating RN. We got along very well, never argued, and considered ourselves perfect for each other. After 9 months of being "in love", the talk of God started to come. RN did not believe in God or Jesus, he actually was very against the idea of being a Christian. He did not like the idea of me going to church and living my life for Jesus, so I knew we were meant to be!

Also during my sophomore year of high school, I started to work at Ukrop's, a grocery store. There was a guy that was always smiling, happy-go-lucky, and just a lot of fun to be around. T & I started to hang out all the time; we were the best of friends. We went on dates even though at the time we didn't consider them to be dates at the time. We could hang out every day without getting tired of each other, and never stopped having fun. We were best friends for about 3 years when he told me he was joining the Marines. He asked me to be his girlfriend, but I was pretty sure I couldn't handle the military life style. I told him I didn't want to start a relationship knowing he was leaving in a week, only to be gone for 13 weeks for boot camp. He wrote me letters all of boot camp, and I went down to Parris Island, for his boot camp graduation. I'm not really sure why things did not work out between us, but I know it was all part of God's plan for me. I trusted that God knew what was best for me, which brings me to my husband!

After getting out of a bad relationship, I told myself I was done. There was no way I was going to date another high school boy, EVER! I was going to wait to college because I was sure I could find someone who was mature enough to treat me well! I was completely fine with my decision,happy actually until this guy kept standing out to me. While I was dating K, this cute, bright blue-eyed guy kept walking by; it almost seemed like he was trying to get my attention. Well after K & I were done, this guy kept showing up everywhere. I didn't know his name or his reasoning for "bugging" me, but he ended up getting my attention. I looked for him on myspace (because that was the "cool" website online) & I sent him a message telling him I thought he was cute! We started writing back & forth, he asked for my phone number, and he would walk me to my car every day after school. Then he asked me if I wanted to hang out; he took me to Sunday Park & asked me to be his girlfriend. Countless dates, trips to the park, movie nights, and just enjoying each others company wouldn't even begin to cover all we did together. In September, R left for boot camp, and it gave new meaning to our relationship. Even though we only lived off each others letters, we made it through & we couldn't have felt more accomplished! December 25Th, 2008, R asked me to marry him at Sunday Park, the same exact spot he asked me to be his girlfriend! We absolutely couldn't wait to get married and be together for good. So May 2009, we got married : ) After three years of being together, he still gives me butterflies, and I couldn't be happier.

I know God brought us together and kept us together for a certain reason. I honestly do believe R is my soul mate, and I thank God for putting him in my life everyday : )

Day 1: Introduce

I'm not very good at introducing myself so I'm going to keep this pretty short. My name is Rebecca Nicole Ashley; I'm the girl with three first names. I'm currently awaiting my twenty-first birthday.

My favorite color is yellow because it's so bright and it makes me happy. It reminds me of the sunshine : )

I have been married for almost sixteen months to (one of my) best friends. We have been together for almost three years, and I couldn't be happier. R, my husband, has been in the United States Navy for two years as of October 1st. We will be in Virginia for the next three years, but I'm very excited to see where the Navy will take us next.

I have two brothers, one is ten and the other is twenty-three as of today. My older brother, A, is a mechanic and has been for six years. I couldn't be more thankful for all he has done for me the past couple months. My younger brother, J, just started the fifth grade this past week. J was diagnosed with aspergers a couple months ago, and it has taught me a whole new meaning to love and patience.

My mom currently works at a Wachovia while my dad works at Dominion Virginia Power (& no, you can't call him when you're power goes out. He can't help you with that one!) My parents are finalizing their divorce after twenty years together. Although they don't seem like they will get back together, I refuse to give up hope!!

I believe in soul mates, true love, and happy endings. I'm in favor of forgiveness and second chances. I believe that being optimistic gets you way further in life than being a pessimist will. I believe that you have to take the good with the bad, even when things are tough.

I would have gone crazy this past year without Riley and Roxie, my puppy and kitty. They are my furbabies, and i love them like my own children. They always make life more interesting.

Fall is my favorite season. I love the weather that allows you to wear jeans and a hoodie. The fall time is the prettiest time of the year with all the different colored leaves. Going to the pumpkin patch and spending Thanksgiving with family are another two of my favorite things about it.

I'm very thankful for my husband, as he is my best friend and soul mate. He is currently on deployment, and I absolutely can NOT wait for him to get home. Hurry up, time!!

Jesus Christ died for me, so I live for Him. Since I began my relationship with God, I have been the happiest person! It's incredible the ways He affects everything in my life. I couldn't be more thankful for all He has done for me; I truly am blessed.

Thirty days of me

A couple of my friends have started to do "Thirty days of me" on their blogs & I decided I would do it too since I always seem to run out of topics pretty quick!

Day 01 – Introduce
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

"We walk by faith, not by sight"

Walking into Chesterfield Baptist Church this morning, I honestly felt like my heart was breaking. After 8 years of friendship, countless girls nights, an insane about of memories, we were about to celebrate Lauren Elizabeth Tuck's life. Many have said that she left too soon, but even in her short 20 years, she was honestly one of the most inspirational people I have ever met in my life.

Mrs. Pittard's chorus class at Bailey Bridge Middle School is where our friendship all started. We got to talking & realized we were a lot alike. We laughed at the same things, had the same hobbies, even liked most of the same things (foods, colors, everything)!! In 8th grade, we had not only chorus together but also art class. People in our class told us that we could be sisters! From that day on, we almost started to convince ourselves that we could have been separated at birth. We started spending all our time together, whenever we could at school, having sleep overs, even starting our own notebook because we felt we didn't have enough time to talk in the day!!

In 9th grade, Lauren invited me to go play paint ball with her church. I'd never played before but couldn't have been more excited. We left from the church and spent all afternoon playing. Lauren and I were the ones to run around the field screaming and laughing trying to avoid all the paint balls! This is also where I first met one of my good friends, Marshall who was the first person to shoot me, right in the mouth! We all busted out laughing about how ridiculous I looked with paint splatted all over my face and all in my mouth.

We stayed in touch throughout the rest of high school and through freshman year of college. We saw each other every day our senior year between show choir and Mr. Pioch's English class, and we got together a couple times freshman year. Even though we didn't see each other every day anymore, we were the kind of friends that would keep in touch. We knew that no matter what came our way, we would always have each other if we needed anything.

Getting the news on Thursday, September 2nd, has been one of the hardest things to comprehend. It seems like just yesterday we were 13 year old girls, staying up all night talking about boys, and giggling about anything and everything.

Throughout the 8 years that I knew Lauren, she was always the one that could have you laughing even when you didn't want to smile. She was the one who could brighten up an entire room even on the darkest days. Just being around her always made me want to become a better person. Her love for Jesus was incredible and even when life got tough, she would praise Him for all she had. I have no doubt she is up in Heaven praising the God she loved so passionately. Lauren was truly a blessing in my life and I will forever cherish the memories we shared together. Until we meet again, rest in peace & always know that I love you Lauren Elizabeth Tuck, aka my sister separated at birth : )

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all- how will He not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Roman 8:31-32

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

"He tends his flock like a Shepard: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young... those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 11; 31

For the Moments I Feel Faint..

This past week, C & I went out to Lifeway to look around. After a while of looking around, we both left with new cds!! We couldn't have been more excited for them. We get in the car & immediately put in one of the cds- Relient K "Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek". One of the first songs that we listened to was one of the songs that I swear used to get me through my darkest, worst days.

"Am I at the point of no improvement? What of the death I still dwell in? I try to excel, but I feel no movement. Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?" -When I was first starting out going to church, I wasn't perfect at all with being a Christian. I was so confused at how I could be so excited to go to church & then go back to my normal life style. I honestly felt like I was learning too late in my life to ever be able to make a change. I thought I was at the point of no improvement.

"I throw up my hands, "Oh, the impossibilities" Frustrated and tired, Where do I go from here? Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly; Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear" -So many times, I would feel that I was getting no where. I searched & searched, expecting for the outcome to be immediate. I would hear people talking about God & all the great things He could do, why the heck wasn't I feeling the same way? Was it because I lived without Him for 18 years or maybe because I wasn't good enough for him?

"Never underestimate my Jesus. You're telling me that there's no hope. I'm telling you you're wrong. Never underestimate my Jesus. When the world around you crumbles, He will be strong, He will be strong" This is the most important verse of the song. Even in those times I was discouraged, kicked to the ground & too weak to get up, I knew He was still going to be there for me. I knew that because He is so strong, I can be weak at times because He is always going to be there to pick me back up. When people tell me there is no hope, I know they are wrong. Nothing is impossible with God by your side!

Those days when you feel discouraged, turn this song on; it may make you feel 100 times better. I know it always makes me feel like a new person by the time the song is over. Whenever I have one of those days, I know I can "Gather my insufficiencies and place them in Your hands" because He will take care of me : )

"Make allowance for each other's faults"

Sitting around after watching "To Save a Life," my best friend & I decided it was a good time to do our devotionals for the evening. Mine read:

"When it comes to forgiving, you can't say it better than Time Stafford did: 'I would rather be cheated a hundred times, than develop a heart of stone.' The Bible says, 'Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.' You don't get to choose who you'll forgive. Love is a command, forgiveness is an act of obedience. 'He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother' (1Jn 4:21 NIV) You can't be closer to God than you are to the people you love least. God sets the bar high because grudges are like cancer, and forgiveness is the laser that removes them. Bitterness chains us to the part, destroys families, divides churches and sours relationships. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the handcuffs of hate. Take your hurt feelings to God and say, 'Point out anything... that offends you' (Ps 139:24 NLT). It takes courage, but that's the kind of prayer He answers. It gets easier as you grow in Christ; in the meantime you have to work at it. As a child of God, His Spirit lives inside you. You're no longer a slave to sin (See Ro 6:14). God knows it's hard to forgive deep-seated hurts, but He will give you grace to do it. To 'make allowance' means to take a charitable view and consider extenuating circumstances. People change and grow over time, so don't insist on clinging to a limited, outdated view of them. Try to see them as they are today. Most folks are doing their best based on the knowledge and understanding they have now, so give them a break!"

After reading this, I start to think of all the people I have "forgiven". I say I forgave them but I know I only half forgave them. What would this world be without forgiveness? God gave His one & only son to die for our sins so that we could be FORGIVEN!! So who the heck are we to constantly point fingers at mistakes others have made. Every one I know has made a mistake in the life, but the good thing about it is that we have every chance to be forgiven. But before I just run out & claim to forgive every one that has ever hurt me, I really had to sit down & figure out exactly how I can whole-heartedly forgive & move on:

-Don't seek retaliation. Instead, "Overcome evil with good" (Ro 12:21). No good will come from getting back at a person who hurt you; you will just be stooping to their level. Instead, give it up to God & have the ability to forgive. God said, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay" (Ro 12:19).
-Don't rush to judgment. That's not always an easy thing to do when you are are injured party, but the ultimate Judge said, "With what judgment you judge, you will be judge" (Mt 7:2). Every body makes judgments in their live whether they mean to or not, but we have no right to judge until we are a perfect person... which will be Never. So until then, we all need to stop passing judgments.
-Make things right. Jesus said, "Be reconciled to your brother" (Mt 5:24). Don't wait for the other person to make the first move, you do it. If you are contemplating working things out, stop thinking about it so much, get out there & do it. The longer you hold a grudge, the more "cancer" you have in your body. You need to work things out so you can forgive, get your "laser" to remove your "cancer", get on with your life. Paul says, "Make every effort in live in peace with all men" (Heb 12:14).
-Pray for the offender. As much as it goes against your character, when you "pray for those who mistreat you" (Lk 6:28), God gives you the grace to forgive and see them through His eyes.

So what are you waiting for? Time is wasting- go out & forgive someone today! : )

All we need is a little patience..

A week & a half ago, my good friend C & I went to church. The pastor said, "you need to PATIENTLY wait on the Lord; He will bring you strength!" For the rest of the time I was in town visiting with her, we tried to push ourselves & each other to remember to be patient with life. It wasn't until that week that I realized just how impatient I actually was. Whether it be waiting for an answer, waiting in traffic, waiting for results, or waiting for our loved ones. Patience truly is a virtue!!

Some people expect to get an answer as soon as they pray about something. Most people expect to get an answer as soon as they ask a question or make a suggestion. Even though technology is high speed, it doesn't mean everything in life is going to be also. We have to remember to be patient while God answers our prays. He isn't going to give you a sign or an answer as soon as you ask Him for something; same goes for people. Some times people need a chance to think about the question before answering it. It is not the end of the world, we need to patiently wait for it.

Living in Hampton Roads basically means sitting in traffic on a daily basis & having to deal with drivers from all over the country. Being impatient isn't going to make anyone else a better driver; it won't get you there any faster and it definitely won't leave you in a good mood. Instead of honking, yelling, cussing & complaining, try enjoying the extra time you have either with a friend, husband, family member or by yourself. It gives you a chance to talk a little longer or enjoy your choice of music. It is also one of the best times to spend time with God; i mean what distractions do you really have? It's just you & Him- enjoy it!!

When it comes to working out, almost everyone expects to see results immediately & I know I feel the same way at times. This is probably one of the hardest situations for me to be patient with. It takes more than a day of eating right & working out to see results. It may take months to see the exact results you want. Working out & eating right isn't just about getting skinny; it's about getting healthy & in shape too. So even if it takes a while to get your results, it's making you healthier with every day that passes!

The Navy wife life is a tough life & definitely takes a lot of patience. Your husband is gone just as much (if not more) than he is home. The Navy has rule over his life- even if you are the most important thing in his life, he still has to answer to the Navy first. While he is away on deployment, he is defending his country & fulfilling his duty. I don't blame any one for missing their husband & every one has the right to complain every once in a while. But it's important to be patient for his return; spending every minute complaining will not bring him home any quicker. Instead of being impatient & in a bad mood, think of his time away as an overly extended girls day! It gives you plenty of time to work on yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually & also in school, work, at home! There is a way to turn the negative of him being gone into a positive!!

Auguste Rodin says "Patience is also a form of action" & I couldn't agree more. So next time you find yourself in traffic or working out, make sure you remember to be patient- it honestly does get your further in life : )

Inspiration

While writing my blog about over thinking, Wow 2007 was in the background playing. There were a couple songs that really caught my attention & inspired me.

1. Barlow Girl: I Need You to Love Me
"But I need You to love me, and I won't keep my heart from You this time. And I'll stop this pretending that I can somehow deserve what I already have. I need You to love me"
- Most of us have a past life before Jesus where mistakes were made & we struggled to see what we were doing wrong. Truth is: we don't deserve Him!! but He chooses to forgive our sins & love us as His own. If we spent as much time praising Him as we do pushing Him away, we would be set! If only it were that easy.. we need Him in this life, without Him we are nothing. Jesus, I need You to love me!

2 & 3. Sanctus Real: I'm Not Alright & Stellar Kart: Activate
"I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside. And all I go through, it leads me to You; It leads me to You, closer to You"
"This is, the reason I'm alive. Don't have time to wait; Activate, activate"
- These two songs remind me of when you are a little kid when you get a new toy. You have to wait for your mom to pay for it, to get it home, have it opened & then it's time to play.. or so you think. but you have to wait for your mom to either activate the toy, take all the strings off or put batteries in it. Same goes for your life: you are born, brought home, raised & then it comes time to live your life. but before you can go on living your life, you need one thing: your battery! without it, you can not survive, you will not work properly. while you may think it's food, water, shelter that make up your battery; your battery is actually God. He is your energizer battery in life & He will just keep you going & going & going!!

4. By the Tree: World on Fire
"There is a hope beyond this night, there is a Savior in the sky giving His life to set this world on fire. So as the darkness closes in know that the sun will shine again bringing salvation to a world on fire"
- I felt like this one is pretty self explanatory. There is always hope when God is near. He gave His one & only Son for us to be able to live, sin, be forgiven & then to spend eternity in Heaven with Him if we so choose to. Though no one is perfect & everyone lives in darkness at one point or another, He will come again; better make sure you are ready for it!

5. Krystal Meyers: The Beauty of Grace
"But anywhere you are is never too far away. There’s freedom from your scars, the mistakes that you’ve made forgiven, the memories erased. Baby, that’s the beauty of grace"
- This one is a good reminder for anyone who is struggling or may feel they aren't good enough to serve Christ. Any mistake, no matter how big or small, will be forgiven; all you have to do is ask. 1st John 1:9 says: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

6. Francesca Battistelli: Free to Be Me
"Cause I got a couple dents in my fender, got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy. On my own I'm so clumsy, but on Your shoulders I can see; I'm free to be me"
- Last but definitely not last; this is one of my favorite songs. I love to be reminded that I do not have to be perfect for God to love me. I can live my life being clumsy, with scrapes & bruises because I am free to be me and you are free to be you; so make the best of it : )

Over thinking..

After deleting this blog post two times already, my good friend C pointed out that I was over thinking my blog post about over thinking!

Over the past two weeks, I have not only over thought emails, texts & statements but also events that happened weeks ago & those that have yet to come.

Four years ago, I dated a guy who was not very good at telling the truth. In the past couple years, he has texted me randomly & said that he doesn't remember who I am but still has my number in his phone. I assume he is just trying to stay in my life & he is out to get me. Who is to say that he honestly didn't remember?

Since R left 9 weeks ago, I have been worried about my weight; how I am going to lose the weight before he comes home, what if I don't lose enough? But then I am reminded that he is my husband. He isn't going to come home & stop loving me if I don't lose any weight. He is going to love me the same, if not more since we will have been apart for so long. Why do I assume he won't love me anymore if I'm still a size 5 when he comes home?

Talking to a friend today, we were talking about R being gone for 9 months & he told me that he felt sorry for me. Of course I started to worry about it. I found myself telling C that I didn't want people to pity me & feel sorry for me. It wasn't for a couple minutes until I realized that he meant it in the best way possible. Why would someone being sympathetic upset me?

Today is July 24, I have 5 months & 1 day until Christmas. Here I am trying to think of presents for all of R's family since he will not be here to help pick any thing out & I'm already over thinking every thing. When I start to think of something, I worry about what they will think of it & what if they don't like it! Christmas is not about the presents but about the celebration of Christ's birth & it is best spent with family; so why, 5 months ahead of time, am I so stinking worried about it?!

Philippians 4:6-7 says:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I know that no matter how much I over thinking things & no matter the crazy amount of things I worry about, God will always be there for me. For the next week, I challenge not only myself but also you to forget about the unimportant things & to pray about the things in life that make you anxious. We don't have to spend our whole lives worrying; all we have to do is pray & God will give us peace! : )

"Getting into You.."

So as I sat here asking my friends what to write about in my first blog, they all told me to write about my feelings. But I had no idea where to even start; I have so many feelings about so many different things. As I wondered what I should write about, Relient K played in the background & the song "Getting Into You" came on.

"When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into"

I was not raised in church but as a 17 year old, I was ready to learn all I could. When I finally decided that I wanted to live for God, I was verbally attacked by someone who I thought would be in my life for a long time, someone I trusted with even some of my deepest secrets. To hear someone you care about be so strongly against a decision you want to make really makes you reconsider. It was a very confusing time for me but I knew that I was being called to serve Him- so I felt that I had no choice but to let go of one of my best friends at the time.

This is just one of the many struggles I had to get overcome. I was confused how people could call themselves a Christian but then go party, drink, have sex. I found myself in a relationship with a guy who seemed to really care about God & his relationship with Him. I was thrilled to have found a guy that would be able to help me learn & teach me things. During a night out with him, I found myself in a situation I was not ready to be in, something I did not know I could handle. My will power was not strong enough to refuse the peer pressure I was under. For the next couple weeks, I was more confused than ever. I figured that if my boyfriend was a Christian but still getting away with this that it must not be that bad. Boy was I wrong. When I got home one night, I cried like a baby; I had finally realized that I had gone against what God wanted for me & it was something I could not take back.

Matthew 7:20-21 says "you will know them by their fruit". The true evidence of being born again is not by what you say but by how you live. For the next couples month, I just went on living my life, not striving for a relationship with Christ. I only went to church because I thought it would make me a better Christian. I did not live by His word; I did things I'm not proud of. I continuously called myself a Christian but I was not living the Christian lifestyle.

May 23, 2009, I married the man of my dreams, the one person that God put on this earth just for me! R has had his struggles too but he has taught me so much about living for God. We would go to church every Sunday that he did not have to be at work; Sundays that he did have duty, I went alone. I ended up going by myself a lot because my husband is in the US Navy & he has to do his duty of going out to sea often. But I never cared that I had to go alone, I was eager to learn. In June 2009, during a Parachute Band concert, they played a song called "Rain". When the lyrics "Living rain, fall again, Over my life over my land. Living rain wash my heart again" came on, I broke down in tears. Being surrounded by hundreds of people serving God, was one of the most powerful things I have ever felt in my LIFE! I needed Him & I now had no doubt. When the band invited people to the front of the auditorium who wanted to ask Christ to be their Lord & Savior, I found myself walking right up to the front. In my mind I kept saying "How did I get here? I don't remember getting out of my seat or getting past all the people in the row I was sitting in!" The most important thing was that I was on my way, in front of hundreds of strangers, to stand up for myself & say that I was ready!

Since that day, I have been working on my relationship day in & day out. I still have my struggles but it is AMAZING how God will put you right where you need to be, whether it in a situation where you are being tested by a best friend, in a place you aren't ready to be in to see if you will stand up for yourself or in front of hundreds of people accepting Him to be the leader in my life. And as I sometimes feel that I regret decisions I have made, I know they are what have gotten me to this point in my life. I will not spend my time dwelling on those events but instead I will praise God for getting me through them & getting me to the point in my life where I can honestly say that I AM A CHRISTIAN!